Actor Demands UTI Per Diem for Non-Union Tour

Citing her unwillingness to urinate on the “V disgusting” tour bus as well as her need to keep her chords “moist” by constantly drinking water, actress Cindy Petrova received a UTI Per Diem on a groundbreaking Non-Equity contract. “It’s not like I can just whip it out like some people here,” she testified Friday, rolling her eyes at fellow cast member Brad Canty, “I have to sit down to pee...and holding it in for literally hours at a time was taking a toll on my bladder and my body!”

When she was offered a renewed contract for the spring leg of her tour, Cindy decided to take a stand—and her negotiations paid off! While she knew that she couldn’t stand another non-union tour without some sort of infection compensation, she didn’t expect the Bob the Builder Tour to put a whole $50.00 a week towards her medical bills. “I thought they might throw me some cranberry pills and send me on my way, but short of finding me usable bathrooms they are really doing everything they can!” gushed Cindy.

While some Non-Union actors see this contract setting a precedent for the future of TYA tours, others are not so sure. “Not everyone has what it takes to be an actor” stated the Beanie Babies live tour manager Darren Haslenmon “To quote my favorite musical for adults ‘It's a privilege to pee.”