55 Reasons to Not Go To That Open Call

1. I’m sleepy

2. Other actors give me hives

3. I have a cold

4. I love myself

5. I hate myself

6. I am going to be discovered soon

7. I am waiting until I am old enough to play Mrs. Lovett

8. My boyfriend and I had a fight about This Is Us (he told me to stop watching things that make me cry, and honestly how dare he?)

9. The Playbill breakdown says they are casting the three witches as men

10. I forgot to shower the night before and I’m CERTAINLY not showering now!

11. I have the February Blues!

12. I decided I’m offer only now (my agent disagrees).

13. I’m too cozy in my bed and I can’t get out

14. I watched Call Me By Your Name by myself last night and I’m not sure if I’m ever getting out of bed again

15. My nude pumps are peep toe and I haven’t gotten a pedicure in weeks

16. There’s no roles for Legit Sopranos

17. There’s no roles for Belty Belters

18. There’s no roles for Actors Who Are Faking Their Way Through 16 Bars

19. I’ve been doing a lot of visualizing lately and I just can’t visualize myself in the 6-occupant room in non-eq housing

20. My psychic Gina says I should get new headshots and I haven’t done it yet

21. My audition jeans are dirty

22. My audition dress is wrinkled

23. I can’t believe we’re still typing in 2018

24. Itchy

25. I ate a tuna melt at midnight and now I feel weird

26. I’m too tall to play the kid, and too short to play the teacher

27. One day I’m going to be Equity.

28. My boyfriend’s ex is bullying me on Audition Update

29. My high notes don’t kick in until after lunch

30. I have a weird bruise

31. I have a pimple

32. My mom says my audition dress “doesn’t show off my shape”

33. My coffee machine is broken

34. My phone’s not charged

35. I ran out of headshots

36. I’m scared they’re actually gonna cast me and is this what I want?

37. I’m still not totally sure what Iambic Pentameter is.

38. Everyone is wearing long skirts to Shakespeare calls now and I dont have one..

39. I am still stewing over not getting a callback for Mama Mia

40. They want movers and I am a DANCER!

41. They want dancers and I am a MOVER!

42. I have an appointment next week for something next week that I need to grapple with

43. Early mornings make me nauseous

44. I don’t trust the L/Q/R/W/A/C/E/G this early

45. My horoscope said I should “lay low” on the 27th

46. The new bagel place is top notch, but they don’t open til 7 and breakfast is the most important meal of the day

47. I had a nightmare about farting in the audition room

48. I don’t feel like putting on a bra today

49. I need time to finish my collage

50. I refuse to get up before UpFirst hits my Podcast Feed

51. It’s my period and I’ll cry if I want to.

52. It’s my half birthday.

53. I had a fling with the security guy at Pearl and I can never go back

54. I think I bullied the monitor in High School

55. I am a delicate flower. Nobody told me it would be like this.