SPECIAL FOR LADIES: How to Audition To Play A Sexy Corpse

When you graduated from acting school, you might have pictured yourself going in for Juliet, Belle, and Emily Webb. But lately the only thing you can get an appointment for is student films featuring sexy dead girls. Well, we've all gotta start somewhere. Even though this goes against just about everything you learned in Feminist Theory 101, baby's first agent says you need a reel! Walk into that room prepared with Hackstage's best tips:

1. Wear something sexy. It’s important to remember that you need to be sexy, even though you are dead.

2. Be ready to get naked! You are a piece of meat!

3. Have your best Shakespeare monologue prepared. So that you can recite it to the bathroom mirror and remind yourself that you are classically trained, goddamnit.

4. Bring your own sheet (or picnic blanket). Otherwise, the man who is casting this thing will definitely make you lie directly on the cold, hard linoleum floor.

5. Be sure to bond with the other women in the waiting room because there sure as shit won’t be a single woman behind the table.

6. “Accidentally” leave your copy of Judith Butler’s “Bodies That Matter” in the waiting room. With any luck the student filmmaker will pick it up and have a sudden revelation that they are trash.

7. Don’t read the script. You’re dead, so you don’t have any lines and it’s just gonna make you sad.

8. Take advantage of your time on campus to sign up for a film class and make your own films so you don’t ever have to play a stupid dead body ever again