How to Prepare for your Fifth Mamma Mia Audition of the Day

This audition season, Mamma Mia appears to be the only show! Wow! So exciting for all you blonde ingenues out there! Congrats!

While you’re trying to get the theaters to “Take a Chance on YOU,” it can feel like the summer seasons are “Slipping Through Your Fingers.” Endurance is the name of the game for all you “Dancing Queens” out there. “Honey, Honey,” you need a few tricks up your sleeve if you are gonna be a “Super Trooper” and make it through your fifth Mamma Mia call of the day. “When All Is Said and Done,” you’ll be the “Winner [who] Takes It All”

Are you wearing a crop top? If not, immediately go to the nearest Forever 21 and purchase one. How can you be a bohemian ex-pat living in Greece without your belly button showing?
Great News! By the time you reach Audition #5, your tight MT curls will have softened into Beachy Waves, just like if you were on the shores of the Mediterranean, looking for your Dad who is one of three possible handsome older men your mom used to bone.
Preparation is the “Name of the Game!” Have YOU marked out all your acting beats in “I Have A Dream”?? Meryl was on action, from Money Money Money to The Winner Takes It All, and you should be too. Also Colin Firth was in the movie. That’s a lot to live up to.
Not Blonde? Neither is Cher! Consider wearing a big blonde wig and making an entrance like she does at the end of the Mamma Mia 2 trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcSMdhfKga4
Non-Eq and Tall? Consider switching to the role of Tanya! While she is technically out of your age range, you’ll look like you've lived 1000 years by the time you get to audition #5. Non-Union Theaters never cast age appropriately anyway, and you've already played the Grandma in Into The Woods, so a hot cougar is in the bag!
SOS! Energy still failing? Chug some Ouzo! That’s what people drink in Greece and Mamma Mia takes place in Greece, did you know? Also at the end, all three guys agree to be 1/3 of her dad. A drunk person definitely wrote this plot, so you'll fit right in.