Study: Prima Ballerina in Your Beginner Jazz Class Not There To Spite You!

Broadway Dance Center: Insisting that she is just there to “have some fun,” professional dancer/goddess Heather McGlocklen in actuality has no desire to make you feel bad about your dancing. Researchers confirmed after an extensive study, that despite McGlocklen’s perfect turnout and seemingly effortless sweatpants and leo ensemble, she has no malice towards you personally nor anyone else in the class.

The study additionally examined the relationship between McGlocklen’s performance and the class’s animosity towards her. When McGlocklen completed a triple at the end of the combination, instead of the requested single, the majority of the class, broke out in rage sweats. One participant in the study went as far as saying that she felt “personally attacked by [McGlocklen’s] flawless jetes.

Chart: McGlocklen's Performance vs. Emotional Well-Being of Class

For her part McGlocken seemed blissfully unaware of her reputation with the rest of the class. “It’s such a gift to be in class and such a joy to be dancing,” she gushed as she floated away on a cloud of positive energy and self-worth.