50 Things to Whine About On Set!

Featured Extra? Professional Stand-in? Lowly Photo-Double? Get ready to whine the day away!

1. I am too hot.

2. I am too cold.

3. It is too sticky.

4. I am too cozy.

5. Too many smells!

6. Too many types of milk.

7. Too much to do.

8. Too little to do!

9. The risotto is too runny.

10. The salad had too many capers!

11. They didn’t have egg salad.

12. They didn’t let me go to Krafty.

13. The Krafty guy looked at me weird!

14. The Krafty guy looks like my ex boyfriend, Ed.

15. The Krafty guy frowned at me for collecting food in my tupperware.

16. I am doing Atkins and they don’t have steak.

17. I am itchy.

18. I am doing a juice cleanse but they only have orange juice so I had a doughnut and now I don’t feel good!

19. The tablecloth is too yellow!

20. Wardrobe made me wear heels.

21. Wardrobe is up two flights of stairs.

22. Wardrobe chided me for not following instructions.

23. Wardrobe asked me to put on a bra.

24. Make up made my face look completely featureless. I am a blank slate and no one will recognize me on tv.

25. Makeup didn’t fix my wrinkles.

26. Make up didn't fix my botched plastic surgery.

27. The actors are too quiet.

28. The actors scream too much.

29. The actors could be better at their jobs

30. I could do better than the actors.

31. The actors won't let me say their lines for them.

32. This show was better last season

33. I worked this show four days last season and I never saw myself on camera.

34. William H Macy refused to talk to me about “the craft!”

35. William H Macy refused to talk to me about “Krafty”

36. WIlliam H Macy refused to talk to me at all.

37. I was asked to leave the set for approaching William H Macy.

38. It’s hard for me to go to the bathroom in my overalls.

39. Someone here smells bad.

40. I got yelled at for telling the guy next to me he smells bad.

41. I think William H Macy might smell bad.

42. SAG/AFTRA refuses to send a rep to deal with the smells

43. Someone told me I'm the one who smells bad.

44. They are correct.

45. The deodorant that wardrobe offered me is not organic.

46. The deodorant the wardrobe offered me is not gender specific

47. I am sleepy!

48. No one let me have my nap-nap.

49. I fell asleep in holding and missed my cue!

50. William H Macy called me unprofessional

​*although this list was compiled for a film or television set much of it can also be used in a theater setting (especially during a particularly grueling tech rehearsal or a non-equity tour!)