Five Ways Your Idiot Boyfriend Greg is Sabotaging Your Acting Career!

Feeling like your auditions are getting steadily worse? Chances are, Greg is to blame. Don’t let Greg ruin your career like he ruined your sister’s wedding! Check out Hackstage’s handy list of behaviors that Greg needs to knock the fuck off before audition season gets underway!

1. Falling asleep while you are acting at him. This is a classic Greg move. Classic. He wants to be “your rock,” but he can’t even stay awake while you recite entire scenes from old episodes of Will & Grace.

2. Telling his friends you’re “a waitress.” Sure, you haven’t had an acting job since you two met last November, but is that really a coincidence? Maybe you wouldn’t just be a waitress if Greg had a little goddamn confidence in you and your abilities.

3. Not proposing during your sister’s wedding. Greg should know by now that, as an actor, you have a need to be the center of attention at all times. Casting Directors will sense that you haven’t gotten the proper amount of attention the moment you walk into the room. Seriously, Greg.

4.“Breaking Up” with you as an acting exercise. You appreciated the effort the first time he tried this “exercise” with you but now it’s getting silly. We all know that Greg went to Michigan for PoliSci. Why would he think that he can teach you anything about acting?

5.Talking to other girls about his penis. How are you supposed to focus on the “craft” when Greg chose a female urologist? Even though you’re the one who asked him to get a handle on his early-onset ED, he really should have been more considerate in choosing a doctor.