Two Year Relationship Ends After Idiot Boyfriend Wears Shorts to Hamilton

New York, New York: History was made at the Richard Rogers Theater last Tuesday night when 24 year old boyfriend Benny Brighton wore cargo shorts and short white socks on a date night to smash hit Broadway musical “Hamilton." “It’s been unseasonably warm lately, and I just wanted to wear my favorite shorts one last night before I retire the for them winter,” stated Brighton after the fact.

Although Brighton had shelled out hundreds of dollars to give his girlfriend, Amy Heller, tickets for her birthday last October, his efforts were for naught. Heller’s initial excitement about seeing the show immediately soured when she saw Brighton’s attire.

“I was shocked that she ended things over my shorts. I got them at the Gap and I thought they looked nice. I even ironed them,” reflected a visibly upset Brighton.

For her part, Heller showed no signs of remorse over the split. “I just really felt like he was disrespecting my profession and this incredibly important piece of musical theater” confided Heller, adding, “I don't see us reconciling after this. We’re done.”