Study Confirms: 95% of Actor Submissions Sent Directly Into Meaningless Void

Dr. Emilie Gritane, Lead Author of the Study.

Do self-submissions make any difference at all? A team of researchers at Cardiff University in Wales set out to answer just that question in a new study published in the Non-Equity Weekly Register.

The results of the study seem to indicate that self-submissions make almost no difference at all. According to Dr. Emilie Gritane, lead researcher on the study, “We found that a strange phenomenon was occurring in about 95% of submission situations. The actors’ headshots, resumes, and carefully crafted cover letters seemed to disappear without a trace moments after they were sent electronically.”

Shockingly, this result is consistent across all submission platforms, including Hackstage, Casting Crutch and Actor’s Basement. Dr. Gritane and her team hypothesize that a “meaningless void” exists directly on the other side of the platforms. Their research was inconclusive as to whether this is the intentional on the part of the websites or if it is simply a glitch in the fabric of space and time.

What does this mean for the average actor? Dr. Gritane states “Well, you’d probably be more productive just throwing your headshot out of a moving cab on 42nd St.” She encourages actors to search for more effective ways to get into the room: “If you have no hope of getting an agent any time soon, try getting your face in front of CD’s in other ways. Babysit their kids! Give them discounts at your restaurant! Sneak backstage at a big Broadway show! Above all, don’t let this new information keep you from following your dreams!”