​ BREAKING NEWS: White Man Behind Table Already Over Your Audition

With a full eight bars to go in her 16 bar audition cut of “Far From the Home I Love,” it has become astonishingly clear that the auditors are no longer listening to Masie Smith, a non-union, NYC-based actor. Though she began the day excruciatingly early, her spirits were high as she rolled out of bed at 5:00 am to sign up for the audition at Nola Studios in Midtown, posting an instagram photo with the caption “#auditionseason #opencalllife.” Now, nearly 7 hours later, she has finally made her way into the room, where the three middle-aged white men running the audition barely looked up when she entered. Sources on the scene report that even the accompanist can tell that no one is listening to Smith.

In the middle of her 9th bar he began speeding up the tempo in an effort to hasten the end of this nightmare. One of the white men behind the table reportedly just yawned audibly and placed Smith’s headshot in the pile closest to the trashcan, without even turning it over to view her credits. At press time, Smith had allegedly produced a very real tear while singing the line “watching older dreams grow dim.” More on this sad story as it unfolds.