Actors Cause Strike to Last Twice As Long

After a grueling and dramatic strike that took a record 56 hours and resulted in two trips to the emergency room, Brandon Henderson, technical director at Harrington Stage, announced Monday that he was banning acting interns from EVER working on his strike again.

The change over from Title of Show to A Chorus Line was designed to only take a few hours at most, with a few key light changes and an addition of mirrors. Instead, Henderson, and his team of experienced techies had to purchase a second mirror after the first one was shattered and improvise an entirely new set design around the hole the interns made in the stage.

Henderson, who reportedly burst into tears on day two of strike described the interns as “the least coordinated bunch of young adults [he] had ever laid eyes on.” Tearing up again, he went on to say, “I knew they might not be good at lifting things, but this was beyond the pale...I had to redo EVERYTHING they did.” Then, with a shudder he added, “And they never stopped singing showtunes. The whole time they sang...”

Britney Freeland, a gentech, added “Usually actors just stand around pretending to help, but this group was so much more than useless. There was a total lack of self-awareness that I have only ever seen in actual babies!”

EMTs were called to the scene when intern James Merriwether reported that he was experiencing heart palpitations after lifting and carrying a 2x4 from the stage to the shop. Merriwether, who will play Prince Eric in the Non-Union TYA production of The Little Mermaid, was determined by the medical professionals to be “faking it.” Luckily, the EMTs were still at the theater when the aforementioned mirror shattered and were able to treat the 3 profusely bleeding interns.

At presstime, Henderson was filling out multiple accident reports, as well as drafting emails explaining to the Board of Trustees why strike was costing the company thousands of dollars.