PokemonGO Fiasco Ruins the Circle of Life

New York City

The recent fervor surrounding Pokemon Go reached the Great White Way yesterday when an audience member mistook the Baby Simba puppet for a Jolteon and stormed the stage.

Jeremy Waitrose, of Stockton, CA, was visiting New York with his family when the Pokemon Go app for iPhone went live. Though his wife, Amelia Waitrose, had meticulously planned their first ever trip to New York City, the trip quickly took a turn from pleasant family bonding time to an orgy of Pokemon hunting, as Jeremy, a member of Team Valor, became more and more immersed in the game.

According to Amelia, Jeremy’s obsession with the game came to a head during Tuesday’s performance of the Lion King. As they watched “The Circle of Life” from their orchestra seats, she felt Jeremy slowly rising from his seat, his eyes fixed on the stage. “At first I thought he was just really into the show, but then I realized that he had ‘that look’ in his eyes and I knew what was about to happen,” admitted Mrs. Waitrose, in a press conference outside her hotel later that evening. She watched in horror as Jeremy leaped onto the stage, shoving giraffes and antelopes out of the way as he scaled Pride Rock with his iPhone outstretched. But a split second before he reached the top of the set piece, he let out an ear piercing screech and fell to his knees on the stage deck. “The server crashed!” came his anguished cry, according to several audience members.

Stage Management at the Minskoff took this opportunity to halt the performance and escort Waitrose from the stage. Unfortunately, several performers had been injured in the scuffle and were unable to continue the performance. As the audience waited patiently for swings to get into costume and resume the show, Waitrose was locked into handcuffs and bustled into a police car. Waitrose refused to comment on the situation to reporters, but was overheard yelling, “Gotta Catch ‘Em All!” before the police vehicle took off for the station.

At presstime, the Minskoff Theater was in talks with Niantic, the company that produces the game, to have their location removed as a Pokestop to prevent further incidents.