A Definitive Ranking of the Best NYC Studio Bathrooms for your Pre-Callback Nervous Poo

Pearl

Rating: 4.5

Congrats! You nailed your eight bars and now you’re back at Pearl for the dance call. You’re in luck! The stalls here are definitely large enough to accommodate that awkward shimmy out of your leotard and tights. We know all you “movers” who lied at your initial audition will appreciate the extra space.

Ripley

Rating: 3

Sadly, Ripley’s signature color scheme doesn't extend to its bathrooms. Use your best judgement with these facilities. Called back for Sandy? Find true release in this beige oasis until you're lulled into a submissive enough state to believably play a character who changes everything about herself to get the guy. Going in for Miss Hannigan? Do yourself a favor by letting your rage (and that brown river!) brew throughout the callback. A good actor never reveals her process!

Nola

Rating: 2

Nola’s bathrooms are pretty small and it’s clear they haven't been updated in a few years. On the bright side, these conditions will leave you totally prepared for the high-quality motel bathrooms you’ll encounter on the road with that non-union children’s theater tour you’re auditioning for.

Shetler

Rating: 4

Nola’s big sister definitely represents a step up for all you nervous pooers out there. But with its twelfth floor address, and typically long waits for elevator access, you might not make it all the way there. We definitely recommend adding at least 20 minutes to your usual arrival time, just in case. The student filmmaker who can’t pay his actors but who is inexplicably able to afford studio space here will be impressed that you arrived early!

36th St Studios

Rating: 2.5

36th St Studios may be a low-budget option for producers, but the bathroom provides a surprisingly great setting for an anxious shit. It’s nothing fancy but it's got the benefit of being nice and private, with no pesky stalls to make you feel inhibited during your stay. The drawbacks? You’ll need to get the key from the guy at the front desk. He’ll know EXACTLY how long you were in there.

Actors Equity Center

Rating: 5

This is the big leagues, folks and this bathroom is gorgeous. Chances are, you’re not here for a callback, but we wanted to include the Equity center because who knows where that EPA will take you? This just might be your big break! Shit with confidence and indulge in the fantasy that you’re a card-carrying equity member! Baby Dream Your Dream (and leave feeling just a little bit lighter!)